The Girl

Well I will say you never know where you might meet somebody. I met a girl we will call for now The Girl, a couple of days ago. I really thought nothing of it but I did take her out on a date the last night and we really hit it off. ?????

You have to see this! 22mins in (watch 3mins)

You have to see this. Fast forward to 22mins in.(watch 3mins) Just think I am friends with this guy and going to San  Francisco in 3 weeks to see him.

One more gone

Ok assistant number two just left for the day. Actually she left forever. So I'm doing pretty good on trimming the staff down. I'm down to one super part time girl. Never know I might be closing this office down as well moving back to the house for retirement. And in case any of you are wondering yes this is a strategic plan to start closing things down. As far as assistant number one and assistant number two it's fun to see them kind of go and full of energy and looking forward to building their life. I hope they are super successful and happy.
I have now realized I'm down to one assistant that's going to work four hours a week. The only real reason I even went to the office was just to be around some people. I am highly considering closing the office January 1 and moving back to the house

Christmas 2010

Hope all of you had a great Christmas. I had a great one. Thought I would share with you some of the people I was with and some of that great Christmas food.

One Slight Correction

Went back to the hospital today to see my mother. And as most of you know I do not like hospitals at all. She does not appear to be doing all that well. Strangely enough though she asked about The M Word and I think would like to see her. I will say that I wished I had the same kind of relationship with my other ex's as I do with her. Ever since we broke up if I'd ever needed anything she has always been there for me. And any time she needs anything or just needs to talk she always calls me. It's very nice to have at least someone like that.
So I guess I will make one slight correction she did tell me she would always be there for me and so far she has and it's been probably 15 years. Let's see if any of the other ex's honor their word of always being there for me. I know this for sure if any of them called me and needed anything at all I would be there for them because I gave them that commitment.(The Definition Of Commitment Is Doing The Thing You Said You Would Do Long After The Feeling You Said It In Has Left You) I will say being an only child does feel sort of awkward to know that when my parents are gone I am truly alone.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a choice, a choice that you can make to free your self from the emotional prison of anger, hatred, and bitterness. I am not saing that the "choice" is an easy one, only that it is a necessary one. - Dr. Phil

JR Ewing Part-2 (Editor Free)

Things were looking very good until today she has taken a sudden turn for the worst.

Have you ever done something but you don't realize that you have done it or doing it? I don't have anyone else to blame but myself. But over the last few years I have successfully isolated myself.  I was not aware of what I was doing at the time, but it was definitely me and no one else's fault but my own. I used to have one particular aunt and uncle I was close to and now it's like I don't even know them. I have an adopted family that I was extremely close to for many years and they no longer know who I am nor do I know who they are. I will emphasize once again, I will take 100% of the blame. As I was dating a certain someone this year I remember talking to them and they couldn't understand why at times I felt so alone. But as we discussed it she did come to understand how alone I truly am.  I guess that's why it felt so good to be a part of something temporarily. But don't worry I isolated myself from that as well.  Dr. Phil always says “you can't change what you don't acknowledge” I believe this to be true. So if I go back and try to isolate the timeframe that all this started happening it would have to be July 4, 2005. That is literally the day my entire world, and perception of people changed. That would be the day that I found out about all of littleone's indiscretions.  And once again it takes two to run a relationship off into the ditch.  So I'll take my part of the blame for that as well.  I will also say ever since then any and all females that I let into my life have been complete liars. I don't know if they only lie to me or they were also lying to themselves or combination of both. I do know I am so sick and tired of hearing “I'll love you forever and I'll never leave” to only find them gone the next day. You know part of me thinks if I talked to littleone and received some sort of closure thinks might be better. But I'm sure that's not going to happen. And as for the other ones they are way too selfish to allow that to happen.

So to sum it up I will take full responsibility and 100% of the blame for where I am in my life right now. I will not blame my past, I will not blame my parents, I will not blame any ex-girlfriend's, I blame no one but myself. It's not what happens to you it's what you do about it that counts. And I totally suck at that.

JR Ewing Part-1 (Editor Free)

For any of you that used to watch the TV show Dallas JR Ewing had a phrase that he would use quite often. He would say “if you're not going to kick a man when he's down when else are you going to kick him” WOW that has sure been true for 2010 for me. So I know what a lot of you are thinking, here comes another negative, self-pity post. Well guess what your right you win $1 million.  I may do a whole rundown of the year but here are the Cliff Notes. The year started off with one of my employees setting me up with what she thought was a great match for me. Well we all know that didn't work out so great. Then I totaled out black beauty. Then we had the famous counseling sessions with my mother, which she felt the need to tell me that she wished she would've aborted me. And then you have the famous lead assistant, the only girl that I really trusted and is done what she would do move off to another town. Now we have assistant number two moving off to another town. And for those of you who don't know my mother had a heart attack about a week ago. Things were looking very good until.......

Mother-Update

It did not go well......


My mother had a heart attack earlier this week. She'll be on the operating table first thing in the morning. Mixed feelings.

Mother

My mother had a heart attack earlier this week. She'll be on the operating table first thing in the morning. Mixed feelings.

One more to go

I go to Austin this week to uninstall UT and then I'm done for the year. Looking forward to going this time. It's always fun to work and spend sometime with Mike M.  And I get to see Katy. Met her on the plane and she's from Austin. You never know. And a trip to Esthers Follies.

Why Not? With Shania Twain

Can't wait till the WEEKLY SHANIA TWAIN SHOW!

Why Not? With Shania Twain

In this powerful new series, the bestselling female country artist of all time - and one of your favorite people - opens up about her life-altering heartbreak and how she's moving on. Join her as she makes her way back to the top.

Coming in 2011.

If You Want To Get Me....

If any of you would like to get me something for christmas here you go. There really cool!!

Mattie, Pacey, and I are ready for this whole christmas and new years thing to be over with. That way we can do it all over again next year.

The last time I asked for something on LOW,  I asked for a TWIT Pillow. Well I got two of them. To bad I had to throw them away. But that is a
whole other story.


The answer is always no if you don't ask.
Life Of Wilde
PO Box 215
Wall, Texas 76957
or
Life Of Wilde
17 S. Chadbourne Ste. 201
San Angelo, Texas 76904

Hard Day

Today was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Saying goodbye to my assistant was very difficult. She had become a good friend, and actually taught me a lot about getting along and compromising with others. I'm so very much appreciate everything she has done for me. So thank you very much once again. I don't know if she knew that I heard her, but the last thing she said to the new girl has she was walking out was "take care of him". She has no idea how much that meant to me, because as I wrote previously she literally is the only girl in my life that has done what she said she would do. Two years ago she told me she would be moving back to Dallas at this time. Every other girl has always told me that they would stay forever or a specified length of time. A lot of you know that we definitely had some stressful, tough times and our fair share of arguments. But what is unique about her is she never left. I feel like my safety net is gone. Thanks again. Wilde

Read Some Of The Symptoms

I have been online and read some of the symptoms of sociopaths, and found this to be very revealing of people. Here are the general symptoms:

* Glibness and Superficial Charm Check

* Manipulative and Conning

They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

* Grandiose Sense of Self

Feels entitled to certain things as "their right." Check

* Pathological Lying

Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests. Check

* Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt

A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way. Check

* Shallow Emotions

When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises. Check

* Incapacity for Love Check

* Need for Stimulation

Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common. Check

* Callousness/Lack of Empathy

Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. Check

* Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature

Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others. Check

* Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency

Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc. Check

* Irresponsibility/Unreliability

Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed. Check

* Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity

Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. Check

* Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle

Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively. Check

* Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily. Check


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Off to Dallas (editor free)

I have been holding back writing this. I think because I did not want it to be true. My lead assistant is moving to Dallas Friday. She's been with me for about two years. I know what people say. I should not get so attached to people that work for me. This is what I say about that. When I am at home I am here with 2 dogs, then I go to the office and spend all day with the 2 girls that work with me. Then back home. I don't think it's right but I can see why girls (little blonde) have kids. So they are not alone and have someone to always love them. So the lead girl is the FIRST person to not leave. What I mean is I knew she was leaving 2 years ago. She told me how long she was staying because she was moving back to Dallas. So I should say she is maybe the ONLY one that has done what they said they would do. And she is even a girl!
She has been the best I have had. She has run my whole life for 2 years. I always say she winds me up and tells me where to go and what to say and when to come home. She has been great! If I needed her at 4am she was there. And never left when things got ruff. I can't really say that about anyone else in my life. In fact the people we work with around the country can't believe she is leaving. They are so used to getting everything they need done with her. And they have told me they know if they ask her to do something it will be done right. I feel kind of like I am breaking up with someone very important to me. But this too with pass like it always does. So the question is what is next? No more little blonde or littlest blonde. And that deal fixed me of any desire to trust anyone to date. So what in the world am I doing in this world? Do any of you ever stop and ask yourself, what in the world am I doing in this world?

Littleone = Junior League

I must say littleone has come a long way. I am proud of her. From baseball to The Junior League. Time will tell.

Click here to see the good old days

Speaking Of Lies......

As I was thinking about the post I've written that you see coming out over the next few days, there is one thing that I think I left off. Little blonde once told me that she loved that I did not hold her past against her. She said she knew she had a lot of baggage but I didn't care. Well she was right.. I felt like she could know the good, the bad, the ugly about me and still love me. Actually she told me that, I just never expressed to her that I really felt it from her, because I didn't realize it at the time. She didn't care where I came from she just cared where I was going.  Well I guess that's unfortunate because that falls under the umbrella of the lies. Because obviously that wasn't true. It was nice to at least think that she would always be there.
Speaking of lies......

Walk Up To The Desk

I have shaved my beard off and at all the stadiums I've gone to so far they haven't even recognized me. So I get to Tucson and walk up to the desk to check in at the hotel and one of the girls says oh you're the guy with the sweet cute little girl how's your daughter doing? Is she with you? Then the other 2 girls says oh yea, your daughter was so cute. Well I didn't have the heart to tell them the little blonde story. Great way to start off my stay here.

Now the good news. I did meet a really nice girl on the plane. When we got to DFW we both had time to have lunch. She was very easy to talk to and cute. You never know. You can't ever have to many friends.

TBDG - Part 2 (Again)

The second opening act comes out which was Miranda Lambert and the arena starts to fill up more and more and I'm forced to sit in my real seat. Keep in mind, it was a great seat, I just like to be spread out and have plenty of room. This is where the traveling Brooks & Dunn girl (TBDG) comes in. (She was the one with the seat right next to mine) I introduced myself to her and I found out that she was by herself as well.


So after Miranda Lambert, Little Blonde called and had asked me how things were going. I say, "It's great. I've actually made a new friend, the traveling Brooks & Dunn girl." In talking with the girl (short for the traveling Brooks & Dunn girl) she loves Brooks & Dunn as much as I do. She's been going to all their concerts just like I have since they started. I would put her in the same league as me and qualify her as a huge fan just as I am. As I'm talking to Little Blonde and telling her about the girl, I make the comment that TBDG would probably like to go to Little Rock tomorrow to see them. As I was flying out the next morning to Little Rock to see them myself. TBDG keyed up on this very quickly. I then said, "Brooks & Dunn are going to be in Little Rock, Arkansas tomorrow, and I have an extra ticket because Little Blonde was not able to get off of work." (Quick little aside here, I don't really believe that story. If you want to do something and you really want to do it, you make it happen which she was unable to do.) But now back to the TBDG. I explained to her that I have two tickets for tomorrow's show in Little Rock, Arkansas if she would like one she could have it. She said, "How much do you want for it?" I said, "I don't want anything. If you want to go, I'll just give it to you." She immediately said, "I'll be there!"

Let's stop the story for one second. We all sit next to people at a concert, a
movie, or an airplane and various other places where the other person just will not stop talking or it's not somebody you really wanted to sit next to. At the time, I was by myself and sort of depressed about that anyway. And here I've met this nice new friend. And I need to qualify the TBDG as a friend. She is married and not in my age bracket so I didn't feel like I was doing anything that I wouldn't do if Little Blonde had been standing right next to me.

So I made a new friend who says she's going to the show in Little Rock, Arkansas. I tell her, Great. I don't actually have the tickets because there will-call. Here's my phone number. I fly in at four o'clock. Call me." About that time, Brooks & Dunn starts the show and it is a great show. The TBDG says I'll see you tomorrow and I said okay. And to be honest, right there I never thought she would show up in Little Rock, Arkansas. I was hoping she would because I felt like I had made a new friend but it was like a 10 or 11 hour drive. I didn't think the chances were very good.

I fly to Little Rock the next day and my phone rings...........

1 Million Airline Miles

I have been notified by American Airlines that I now have 1 million airline miles. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I do know that I have just been on seven different flights in the last five days, three different  rental cars and three different hotels. And here it is 10:30 and I'm flying out first thing in the morning again. As some of you know I really have this bad problem of associating places with people. Back in the good old Little One days, I literally paid for someone to just go with me to the UT stadium for the first time so I didn't have to do it by myself.  So I'm going to Tucson tomorrow in the same hotel and the same stadium that Little Blonde and the Littlest Blonde so famously joined me in.  By the way, I look at it as, how God could create some new memories so those memories will get old just like the Little One memories got old. You know I still think it is perplexing that two people can be so close and then almost instantaneously be complete strangers.

Last thing I have to say for tonight is I was talking with one of my very good friends that I've had for a long time. He is going through a breakup similar to the one with Little Blonde and myself. I was sharing with him,  even though it might be a little selfish as I think back, the M-word is not married and is not in a fulfilling relationship that I know of. Littleone  has been married and divorced and is not in a fulfilling relationship I know of. Little Blonde has been married  and divorced and is definitely not in any fulfilling relationship.  So as I was telling my friend, I think it would be even more difficult if they had moved on to successful fulfilling relationships. So now the question is, is it me or is it them or is it both of us? If you look at it one way the only common denominator in the three relationships is me. But if you look at it another way, if I was the sole problem why have they not been able to find a fulfilling relationship? That has nothing to do with me.

Okay really the last thing for tonight. For the first time since I've had this blog, I had someone ask me yesterday why I have never  written about them on the blog? I don't know why I just found that extremely strange. Because most of the time the people that end up getting written about on this blog don't necessarily want to be written about. So for someone to kind of sound offended that they hadn't been written about was a little different. But now I guess they can't say that, because they have officially been written about on the blog.  Speaking of this person, she's never been married and does not have a fulfilling relationship either? So do I just have to get new friends, or is it just that hard to find a fulfilling relationship? I guess there's a reason the divorce divorce rate is 56%in America.

UT Game 6 (Good To See How The Game Starts)