M-Word

It is Sunday. It's been about 2 weeks since The M-Word has been back in my life. She said she would stay till I got someone to replace her. Well, today she said she's done. She has been very very helpful.

She also told me she was just getting over this long relationship she has been in, yet she has already been out on a date and made-out with another guy?? So I am trying not to take this personal, but I'm not sure how else to take it.

This is part of an e-mail she sent me on 6-7-08.
"As I have gotten older I have given the past some thought and I honestly believe that, if I wanted to long ago, I would have stood up to my parents and continued to date you, but I think that deep down I didn't really want to continue dating you. It really wasn't worth the fight. Don't get me wrong, I had fun with you and I learned a lot."

Then on 6-9-08 she emailed
"You know, deep in your heart, that I meant every word in those letters and I'm GLAD that you have held on to them all these years. I still consider you my first love and I will love you .... and I guess be a little jealous of the words you write about your ex....until the day I die."
" Johnny there is something you need to know... those words that I wrote to you that you quoted about us having passion and me loving you forever, I haven't said that to anyone else... EVER!!!"

So we go from "It really wasn't worth the fight" to "those words that I wrote to you that you quoted about us having passion and me loving you forever, I haven't said that to anyone else... EVER!!!""
Is it just me or does she say two way different things? Those e-mails are 2 days apart?

So I am not sure what I even wanted out of this. It felt good to work and spend time with her but she has now says it does not feel good to work with or even see me. I think I just kind of had an open mind, and by the way she acted and dressed, I guess I took it the wrong way.

She has been very helpful. So big thanks to her for that. It's kind of hurtful to know a week from now she wants nothing to do with me and wants nothing to do with my office. I guess I should have listened when she said "It really wasn't worth the fight. Don't get me wrong, I had fun with you and I learned a lot." She told me I need to get to know The New M-Word. Well, this New M-Word got in and started something she said she wanted to finish. But she has changed her mind again.

So I guess people really don't change. She said today she got nothing out of our relationship. I feel bad that she feels that way, but I have learned I can't change her mind. I just hate the part of knowing that all I thought was real was really just fake and a way for her to have fun with me and "learn a lot" in her own words.

Maybe something will change tomorrow. It was nice having her around again. I have really enjoyed that last few weeks.

What will The Compass say???