Updates Confusing?

Well, I've got several subjects to talk about in this post. Several ideas and things that I thought about over the last few weeks.

Number one: Twitter? Why is this Twitter phenomenon sweeping the country? And yes I am one that tweats. Why do we feel the need to share these random comments like what we're having for dinner, can't sleep, or just what we're doing. And I am saying, first of all, I am in this crowd. I personally tell myself that I tweat because it's a way of keeping up with things that I've done or places that I'm going or have gone. So to me it's a comical look back to see some of my old tweats.

Number two: The-M Word. Yes she has called again. It was good to hear from her but yet it was a very awkward conversation in my opinion. I don't necessarily mean awkward in a bad way or good way; it was just awkward. I still have some mixed feelings for her but I'm not even sure what they are. Part of me still really cares for her, the other part dislikes her intently for the things that she did to me during our relationship. But nevertheless don't get me wrong, I was glad to hear from her. I guess she can look back and find things that she dislikes intently about the things I did as well in our relationship. So I guess we're even.

Number three: The Compass. Okay, The Compass, I do a lot better on this blogging thing when I'm asked questions. So get to asking some questions or making some comments. That's what gets me to thinking about things and then I do more blog posts.

Number four: Face book. This fasebook thing has skyrocketed. It's kind of cool. I've found tons of my old classmates on facebook that I've always kind of wondered where they were or what they were doing. But there is also an extreme awkward part of this. And I mean very awkward for me at least. I still feel like I just got off out of high school last week. I have no wives or ex-wives; I have no kids or step kids. I literally feel like it wasn't that long ago when I got out of high school. I still feel really young and I feel like I still act really young in a good way. So it's so awkward to see these people on facebook that I went to high school with and their photos with their wives or their husbands and their kids. Listing my friend Aimee W, for example. I went to high school with her. She was one of my good friends. I was very good friends with her family but for some reason I just cannot see her as a mother. And I don't mean that in any bad way at all, but I was looking at her facebook updates and she was talking about being a mother and this and that. Well, it seems like yesterday I was just going to Sonic to see her where she worked.

I guess it's just strange realizing that others do live their lives with some sense of responsibility, when I still feel like I live mine with very little responsibility. That's why I've really never wanted children. This may move on into number five as it really has nothing to do with facebook. But this whole children thing has just got me kind of buffaloed. I just never have had the desire to have any children, number one and number two, that sense of responsibility absolutely terrifies me to death. It seems like such the thing to do. Go to high school, go to college, get married, have children and then get divorced. Right? Isn't that what most of our society is doing? Or have I got this all wrong and this is what you need to feel fulfilled in life? I don't feel any sense of responsibility but at the same time I don't necessarily feel fulfilled either. So leads me to the next question.

What makes a person feel fulfilled, needed, wanted, verified, important and valid? I would love to hear what some of you had to say about this.

Number six: (or number seven) Whichever way you look at life, it's a rerun. Life is seeming to be one gigantic reroute. I mean, this life of very little responsibility and getting to go where you want to go and pretty much getting to do what you want to do is great and all, but it also seems like it's a gigantic rerun day after day, month after month and year after year. It just seems like it's the same thing. What makes it exciting? I can think of a handful of times that I can remember that I felt like life was exciting, but unfortunately those handful of times involved being in a relationship with someone. So, is that what it takes? For you to have another person to feel that excitement? Okay, Compass there are some really good pondering questions in here for you.

Number seven: (and number eight depends on how you look at) Littleone versus the M-Word. I still have this internal conflict going on between these two, Little One and the M-Word. Take a quick break if you're new to this blog and go back and read some of the past posts. It will explain to you who the M-Word is and who Little One is..

... Back from a quick break? I look back over the time I spent with the M-Word and I must say it was utter torture. I don't blame this necessarily upon her, I blame this on the particular time in her life that this relationship is went on. But the sad thing is, I don't feel like I could ever return to that relationship because of the lack of trust that's there. That is very sad to me.

Now let's take the Little One relationship. I cannot think of another three years that were, at the time, the most blissful to me. Yes, it was all a lie but I didn't know that at the time. And it's not as if I could return to that relationship or want to because of the extreme lack of trust there as well. These are the only two significant relationships that I have to compare anything with. I really don't know what the whole point of this is but that it just all seems very confusing sometimes. So, I will end this post for now and let the wonderful Compass make some great comments. LOW