This Post was done in HOT PINK for a reason - Little Blonde

Little Blonde and I had a date Tuesday night. I had forgotten how much fun she can be and how attractive she is. She said she was doing it for closure for me. Well number one I don't believe that. You don't wear that kind of dress on a date, no, excuse me, an outing with someone that you're helping to get closure unless you want to make them crazy. We met at the office; she was early; and off to the restaurant we went. I had a very pleasurable time and a good meal, and I think she did as well.

We go back to the office where we had met and left her car and we talked. And this is where, I guess, I get incredibly confused. Number one, she said she is a black and white person and there is no gray. When we dated the first time there was an individual calling her and texting her and she made it very clear in black and white terms that she wanted nothing to do with him in any capacity. Yet this individual has been back in her life! They've even been out on dates, and he even gave her and her daughter jewelry which she accepted.  That's not very black and white to me.

Number two, she's telling me she thought something weird was going on because all these old friends have been contacting her lately. And that she and another one of the old boyfriends were dating again. Just a couple of days ago, in her own words, she says he calls and is completely drunk and breaks up with her again. I don't tell these two stories to cast a bad image on Little Blonde in any way.  I actually share these two stories because I'm wondering why things are so black and white with me but they're gray with everyone else? I think she knows for sure that I wouldn't ever get drunk at a bar and call her anything.

She brought up over dinner all this dating she has been doing, which I really didn't want to know about, but since she brought it up I let her know that I have not been out on one date since or been with one person physically since her. So no matter what she thought were things I did, I can't just go right on to the next person just like that.

This is where she brings up a very good point. I mean this point Little Blonde was just perfect. She says, “On your blog you are constantly talking about other girls from your past.”  Let me make one distinction whether you think I'm right or wrong. There is a huge difference between talking about other girls on the blog and physically being with other girls. But nevertheless, she says, “Why do you talk about those other girls on your blog? They’re way in your past and its long over with.” 

As you well know, I get many comments on the blog any time I post anything about any of my ex’s. And I get the same exact questions of why do you keep whining about them, get over it, I can't take it anymore, please don't talk about them anymore, etc.  I've heard it all but strangely enough not until she said it did it sort of click why I think I do that. And the reason I think that I continually bring up girls from the past is there is some comfort in it. I know that sounds really strange but oddly enough there is some comfort in those relationships and here is why I think that is, because I know that none of the girls that are talked about in those previous relationships are ever going to sit down and want to talk with me and hash things out. So as unfair as it may be it's sort of like I've got a one-sided thing going on here. I can write whatever I want and they're not going to come back and say anything about it. So Little Blonde you have no idea the freedom that you have given me. For the first time in a long time, I don't feel any need to go back and revisit those relationships. Those relationships are over and years old.

Now back to you Little Blonde, I had a great time with you. I left very, very confused, wondering if I should call again.  I don’t know if you want to go out again or if you never want to see me again. I absolutely have no idea what to do next.  It does hurt my feelings that you were in the gray area with other guys but you said you were black and white with me. It also hurts my feelings of what has transpired from the time we broke up to now.  But I’m willing to work on forgiving those things.

You said to me that night on the date, or excuse me our outing, that you want a guy you don't have to teach how to dress or teach him manners (such as when it's appropriate to chew gum and when it's not).  In other words, you don't want a guy that you have to train. You just want someone that already knows what to do. Well, you complimented me on my dress about four times. And no I wasn't wearing a dress, so I should say you complimented me on my shirt about four times and I didn't stick any gum underneath the table, and I don't make it a regular habit of going to bars and getting drunk. So I need a little indication from you on what I'm supposed to do next? I think you are beautiful, fun to be with, and smart in areas that I'm not.  By the way, I loved it when you told me you missed The Corrs.