Little Blonde Part 4

Part 4

I get to fast forward here a little bit. The Littlest Blonde and I became absolutely best friends. When I wasn't there Little Blonde told me that the Littlest Blonde had asked her if she loved Johnny and Little Blonde had said yes. Littlest Blonde looked up at her and said mommy you know I need a daddy and I want it to be Johnny. Well, if that doesn't melt your heart I don't know what will. So from here on out I took on the role of nightime routine. It was easy as pie. She never gave me a second of trouble and she always stayed in bed.

Earlier I had said that my greatest fears had come true. You must understand when I dated Little Blonde the first time, I wanted nothing to do with her daughter. The way I looked at it, if it didn't work out, I would have two people to get over being in love with not just one.

In fact, this is one of the reasons I've never wanted children. I never wanted anything that could be taken away from me.

I have had my fair share of problems that I will fully admit to, and Little Blonde has her fair share of problems. She asked me to stay there or basically live there yet I got kicked out three times in three weeks. The last time was because I made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and had intended on taking a 30 minute nap but just never woke up because I was so exhausted. I wasn't used to getting up at 6 AM, but nevertheless that's what I got kicked out for that time, oversleeping.

The very unfortunate part of this whole story is  the Littlest  Blonde.  I truly fell in love with Little Blonde and  the Littlest Blonde. I'm going to Tucson tomorrow and the Littlest Blonde and Little Blonde flew out and met me there last time. I'm going to miss them being there this time.

Little Blonde had such a beautiful smile, beautiful eyes, and when things were good they were really good, but when things were bad they were really bad. Unfortunately, they were bad more often than they were good. It's funny how she would blame things on me, and when people blame things on you a lot of the time it's exactly what they are doing themselves. She was good at cussing and yelling at me a lot, and she would change from a good mood to a bad mood instantly. And that's just how I grew up with my parents being alcoholics. They too would yell at me and would change personalities in a second.

I so don't want this for Little Blonde. I want what's best for her. I hope with all my heart she does something to change. Because I know underneath all that anger or underneath all that pain and meanness, there is love. She has love in her heart. There's just so many things that she's had to go through, I believe she reacts  the only way she knows how. I want her to know that I love her, and I love the Littlest Blonde, and I miss them tremendously. And I wish the best for them. There will be more stories to come I assure you.