I was so hoping that wasn't true of her????


For some of you long -time LOW readers you will remember "The List." Here is a copy of the list from January 27 2008.
The List:
  My list of the five people that have affected me the most(In no specific order).I am going to add to this from time to time. Who are your five and why ?
1. My Dad -Smart -More to come..... 
2. Littleone -Perplexing -Well this story could fill up a book... (And I just might write one someday.) We met in July of 2003. I am not sure of the day but from then on forward we were together almost all the time. The last time I saw her was December of 2006 and again not sure of the day. I think it is wield to spend that much time with someone and then never see them again. More to come..................................... 
3. The M-Word -Unavailable -More to come...............................
4. Jim Rohn -Philosophy -Started listening to him when I was about 17. I have met him 2 times. More to come..... 
5. Bob Mayer -Integrity -I met Bob when I was 16 or 17. More to come.... 

I wanted to choose this particular copy of the list because I had written only one word for The M-Word which was unavailable. At the time I wrote
that, unavailable had a completely different meaning than it does today. Today the word UNavailable means totally not interested, no longer friends,a person that does NOT want to be involved in my life in any way, a person I can NOT call when something goes really bad, so basically totally out of my life. I will add that this is 100% her choice and what is kind of weird is...I never even got a reason? I let her know about my dad and out of all the people in my circle... she knows me well enough to know how anything happening to him would devastate me. And.... NOTHING from her. I will end this by saying I still do love her and would do anything in the world for her if she needed me. I did say I love her...but I did not say I am IN love with her. She is one of those people I will love my whole life and I thought that feeling was mutual. But it may be like I have said before "you can love cocaine but it doesn't mean it's good for you." I can only assume I am no longer good for her. So I will mark her off my list of
people I can for sure count on. And if she ever wants to be back on my list we better have a REALLY good apology. You know, as I just wrote that last sentence it reminded me so much of when I dated her. When it was convenient and she wanted me around then great. But if it wasn't convenient or took any extra effort at all I was gone. I really hate to say this but people say all the time that people really don't change, I was so hoping that wasn't true of her. I am sure The M-Word and Little Blonde will be calling or just show up at any time show there support. Oh yes, and I'm sure they will bring Littleone with them.