All I Wanted Was My Dad To Be Sober - PART 1

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Part 1

There was an interesting comment left the other day "let him post the rest of it - it will never end till he does. Betcha the other anon doesn't know everythig either unless she is MISS." When someone posts anonymously it really is anonymous. I have no way to find out who that is. So whomever it is seems to have sort of an inside track. So let me clear a few things up.
1. There are more posts already written on the subject of MISS. They've been through the editor, they're ready to go.
2. They are not scheduled to go out because I am not ready for them to go out. No one is not letting me post them. People that know me, should know I pretty much do whatever I want to do.
3. This bit about "it will never end till he does," is quite interesting I must say. Because you're probably right.

I remember MISS asking me one day if I was so unhappy, why didn't I just break-up and leave? I thought that was a pretty darn good question. I have been asked that question before. I said, "Because I never break-up with anybody."

I have never broken-up with anyone. Like ever. My history tells me that the girl will always find a reason to leave sooner or later. The other reason I don't leave is because of the definition of commitment. The definition of commitment is doing the thing you said you would do long after the feeling you said it in has left you.

I think that is why when relationships end they are so hard on me. I think it actually confirms what I thought all along but I didn't want it to be true. So if you notice, I really get stuck on things that girls tell me. I'm talking about MISS here but you could really interchange her with any of the girlfriends from the past. 

MISS Said/ Expressed 
I will not leave you
I love you
I like you (yes there is a difference)
I care about you
I think you're handsome
I think you're sexy
I think you are confident
I know you would take care of me
I think you love and care for me (her) (she was/is right)
I think you're different
I think you're smart
I will never hurt you
I would not leave you because of my family


There were a lot more but you get the picture. So when MISS left it confirmed in my head that none of those things were or are true. I know what some of you are thinking. She might of felt those things but it changed over time. I think that is total crap. 

This whole MISS thing is more about me then her. Not to go into the long laborious story. Most of you know it but here is a quick recap.  My dad has been sober nine consecutive months of my lifetime. I remember my parents asking me what I wanted for my birthday when I was really young. I said all I wanted was my dad to be sober. That particular year he was drunker than ever. I know now as an adult that alcoholism is a disease. But back then I took it extremely personal. I thought I wasn't good enough, lovable enough, smart enough, etc. etc. So even as an adult, knowing the truth in ......... Part 2 Coming Soon

** These videos that I embed in the posts are not just randomly selected. As if you didn't know that. I have no clue if she looks at this but the songs are selected for her. Also the Amazon ads for songs or books are also selected for her. MISS if you see this. There is a song that I was going to give you for Christmas. Obviously that did not work out so well. So track this song down and listen to it carefully. Get the RED version. MISS knew I was a music fanatic.