Great, long, wavy, to curly, blonde or brunette hair. YES

I found this list of things I'm looking for in a girl. I wrote this on January 17, 2009. I need to print this out and put it up where I can see it. I don't know what in the hell I was thinking with MISS?? 


1. Great, long, wavy, to curly, blonde or brunette hair. YES
2. Thin. Very Thin. Very Very Thin. -
3. Special I THOUGHT
4. Has her own thing going but is willing and wants to get involved in my things. Very
involved in my things. NO
4. She has the time to travel with me anytime. YES
5. Honest NO, NO
6. Very Honest NO, NO, and NO
7. Likes the TV Show DALLAS ??
8. When we walk by people, she causes them to turn their head and ask, "How did he get her?" - YES
9. Thinks that having a JOB is a waste of time. ??
10. Loves Music YES
11. Puts me and our relationship above her family NO
12. Puts our relationship at the top of her list. NO
13. Wakes up everyday and says what can I do to contribute to this relationship today? And does it. NO
14. Loves to wear heels. YES
15. Loves to dress up. NO
16. High maintenance. NO, I have mentioned this wacky religion. She has never worn make-up, lipstick,(not even perfume) bracelets or jewelry of any kind.
17. Loves and would do anything for me. NO
18. She gets along with everyone. YES
19. Does not flirt with anyone but me. NO
20. Maybe a little geeky. YES
21. Has the three S's 1. Sexy 2. Seductive 3. Sophisticated - YES
22. Wants to build something together NO
23. Likes to read The 50 Shades Of Gray and The Bible 
24. Loves pets (DOGS) YES
25. Kind hearted NO 
26. Open minded NO

Even though she didn't have all the things on the list. I totally adored her. Or I adored who I thought she was. She had so many more things that were not even on the list or so I thought. I remember the last night I was with her in Abilene we had a pretty intense talk. And she promised me she would never hurt me the way I have been hurt before. I would consider that a lie. Especially when she told one of her friends that it would be hard to do (cut me off) because I have no one. Which that made it even hurt even more because she's fully aware of what she was and is doing. But she seems to have no problem with it at all. If she didn't want things the way they are she's an adult she can change them. Plus things only get worse with time not better. I just have got to start believing that it was all a lie and all a delusion. Also I have to stop taking it so personal. This is what she did before. She just totally cut the guy off. Just like her family instructed her to do. Will she ever grow up? For some reason I just thought I was different. I really wonder about some of the things she said she had never done before. I wonder if that's actually true or if those were lies as well. I guess I will never know and it ultimately does not matter. MISS they won. Which I don't care about other then that means we lost. You are going to end up just like them. Which is okay if that's what you want.