Tell Your Family - It Worked - MISS

When It's Time It's Time. You made your choice.

I made mistakes. I'm sorry for the mistakes I made. I really am. I'm not proud of them at all. She knows I hate excuses but I do believe in reasons. I cannot even begin to tell you how hurtful it was to see some of the things I saw when she promised me that all that stuff was over with.

I was looking over some of my text messages. I found this one that MISS sent me on Christmas Day. "And they keep insisting that if I really do care for you, to let you go.. I don't want to." Then later in some other text messages her family is telling her that if she really loves and cares about me then to let me go. That makes absolutely no sense what so ever.

MISS ask yourself this question. Where and what are those family members doing now? I will tell you. They are busy living and enjoying their own lives.

You of all people should know me very well. Nothing gets better with time for me. It only gets worse. And I actually know things don't get better with time for you either. Time heals nothing.

Actually in one respect your family was 100% right. By leaving me alone I figured out sooner rather than later I needed to move along.

MISS by not fighting for me, by not having my back, by not backing me up you're actually doing the opposite. You're actually fighting against me, you're actually stabbing me in the back, you're actually going against me (us) by not backing me up and being honest about your feelings towards me. MISS think about this, by what you're supposedly literately having to do, how is that supposed to make me feel? You are an adult. You literally don't have to do anything. I always told you I would back you up 100%. You have never once asked for help. I always said that your actions speak louder than words. What do you think your actions are conveying to me? Okay I get it, you don't care about me and never have. It hurts me deeply, but I've got the message loud and clear. Believe me if I did not really love, care and adore you I would have long since forgotten you after what happened Christmas Day. This has been really hard. What's really ironic about the situation is I don't have a choice. My hands are tied. On the other hand you have choices. Your hands are not tied. You could change everything with one phone call. (don't even say you don't have a phone or something like that. Have you ever heard of calling collect? Come on for real if you wanted it bad enough you would and could find a way) But obviously you don't want to because that call has never been made. So I have no choice other than to believe you are where you are because you want to be. That's what really hurts. You may have some theory that you're waiting for things to calm down or something. By doing that you are effectively destroying any future we could ever have.  Remember I always told you what is comfortable soon becomes very uncomfortable. And what is uncomfortable soon becomes very comfortable.

We haven't really talked since December 15. You never solve relationship problems looking outside the relationship you always solve relationship problems looking within the relationship. In other words you and I both are guilty of talking to everyone else but each other. Don't you think it's time that we actually talked to each other face-to-face? If nothing else do I at least deserve that?

Based on your actions the answer would be NO. If you really wanted to see me, talk to me you would find a way to get here. The sad thing is even if someone provided you with a airline ticket or even a bus ticket and took away every financial excuse you still would not come.  I'm not even worth that to you. Just like Littleone and The M- Word. 

Remember I used to tell you that you're so scared of your family but in actuality it's a completely false sense of fear. Remember Christmas Day one of the last things I asked you was do you trust me? You said yes. You can easily say that you don't trust me because of some of the choices I made the last few weeks. The fact of the matter is you don't know why I made those choices because you haven't talk to me. Remember I would tell you that I may do things that don't make any sense at the time but you have to trust me. You agreed. 

I just feel so duped. After not feeling good enough for my dad to want to get sober, and my mother telling me she wished she would have aborted me, and the things I've gone through with ex-girlfriends especially Littleone, I will say this ranks right up there with those. I've said this before but I'm going to say it again. I just believed that you were different. I really did think what we had was real, I trusted you, opened up to you and shared all of my vulnerabilities. It turns out you're just like them (especially Littleone & The M-Word). Sometimes I wish I could date without getting so emotionally involved. That way I could date without getting so hurt. Just remembering all the times that you assured me I was safe, and talking to me about all the things that have happened to me in my past, for you to turn around and do the same things that they did, it makes it even worse. That really hurts me beyond description. I just never dreamed you would do that to me. I'm not just talking about what happened on Christmas Day, I am also talking about what has and has not happened since then. Talking about digging your hole even deeper. "I swear I'm gonna fix this."??????????????????????????

Writing anything else would just be a complete waste of my time. If you were going to actually show me that you loved and cared for me you would have done it by now. Perhaps you were just infatuated not actually in love? Nevertheless I guess it really doesn't matter now.

You and I know the truth. Do whatever you want to do. You do anyway. I asked you the last time I saw you not to do anything that would make this non-repairable. I haven't heard anything from you in weeks. Tell your family - It Worked. I hope you find someone that truly adores you. Someone that will treat you special and respectful. I wish you well. MISS I am done