They Have Passed Away - Part 2

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Click Here For Part 1

Part 2

So even as an adult, knowing the truth in my head isn't always what I feel in my heart.
One of the things I would love to do is just go to lunch with my dad. I know that sounds real simple and small but it's because such a simple thing can be taken for granted.  I can't even tell you the last time I had a meal with my dad. It's been years. It's something that's not possible to do because of the level of alcohol he consumes daily. Its the simple things that I have really missed.

My dad has always made up for those shortcomings with financial things. Which I'm very grateful for. However, I would trade all of the financial things just to have a relationship with him. I was telling someone the other day that it would almost be easier if he had died when I was a child. I'm not saying I wish that had happened by any means. I'm just stating that if he had, I think it would be different because it's harder to not have a relationship with someone because they're drunk (unavailable) rather than not have a relationship because they have passed away. 

There are so many stories and images that I have in my head that I cannot get rid of. One quick example was when I was in the third or fourth grade, one of my friends was going to spend the night with me on a Friday night. This was all prearranged with our parents. He was going to ride the bus home with me that Friday. (I rode the bus
probably 10 or 15 times in my life. My dad always took me to school and picked me up.)

So my friend and I rode the bus home and walked in the back door. My dad was on his back without one stitch of clothing on completely passed out. I remember us trying to wake him up. I remember this horrible feeling in my stomach not because of the embarrassment from my friend seeing him this way but thinking my dad was dead. I hate it when people blame things on their childhood. I am here to tell you though that those kinds of things stick with you. No matter how much counseling or reading or going to church you...... Part 3 Coming Soon

What do I have to do to get some more people to leave some comments? Are you telling me none of you have an opinion? You can post anonymously or you can choose to post with your name. I approve 99.9% of all the comments. Only if they contain cussing or something like that do not approve them. If you look back there have been plenty of comments that are not that nice towards me. And that's fine. I'm asking for your opinion. Of course if you want to leave a comment that is nice towards me that would be super great.