Change My Life - I Am Willing To Learn

Perfect, I think that you do have to ask for what you need. As with anything, this can be taken to the extreme. In the Grapevine's example, Valentine's Day is an excellent point. If a guy can't figure out to call you and make time for you on Valentine's Day he's clearly just not interested. Valentine's Day and ordinary days are completely different. Guys are generally dumb. You have to put the dots really close together. You have to ask for what you need and what you want.

I am a perfect example of this. If you ask me for what you need and what you want I am more than willing to do them for you. What makes me feel fulfilled and happy is when you are fulfilled and happy. Sometimes I am searching for ways to do this and it seems like no matter what I do I cannot make you(the girl) happy? The Grapevine said in her post titled Words from the Grapevine…. We want you to be loyal to us. Loyalty shows love. This is very true. We feel like if you are loyal to us we are making you happy. Here is the big mix up I think. Loyalty to you may be a completely different thing than it is to me. Therefore I have to ask for loyalty. I need to let you know what I want and need. Or you would not know what I really want or need.


I think I told you this story but I'm going to tell it again here on the LOW. If a cute little alien came down from another planet and you found it, you would have no expectations of the cute little alien. Lets pretend that you were keeping the cute little alien in your closet.
You put the cute little alien to bed and you went to bed yourself. The next morning happens to be your birthday. You wake up and go check on the little alien. The little alien does not have a birthday card, present, cake, or anything for you. In fact, the cute little alien does not even tell you happy birthday. You would not be mad or disappointed or upset with the cute little alien. The reason why is because you would just assume wherever the cute little alien is from they don't have birthdays. The next year when your birthday comes around and you told the cute little alien that here on earth we celebrate birthdays I bet you the cute little alien would have something for you on your birthday. Us guys are sort of like cute little aliens. We literally don't know what you need or want unless you ask. It's like we are from one planet and you are from another. Wait just a second isn't there a book about that somewhere?
“Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished.”
John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

I don't believe that it is realistic for us to just expect you to know what we need. Just as it is unrealistic for you to just expect us to know what you need. Again, I'm not talking about Valentine's Day or anniversaries. I'm talking about every day. Relationships are negotiated. You need to tell me what you need and want and let me express what I need and want and then let's negotiate so we both win.

I have an idea, Perfect & The Grapevine. How about we both read the book and do sort of like a book review here on LOW chapter by chapter? Maybe like a chapter a week?