Shook Me To My Core - Part 1

I wrote about what The Grapevine said the other day - "Be thankful for what you "thought" you had," is rather interesting. That statement immediately makes me think of Littleone. I was with her for almost 3 years and I still miss what I thought I had with her.

In the course of The Disaster fiasco I have been able to interact with some people I did not know before. Following is something that I wrote to what we will call a mutual acquaintance. 

It's kind of strange. I don't know you at all but in some ways I feel like I know you well. As I told you, I've never been married and do not have any children. I have never cheated on a girlfriend. The biggest reason why is because of the way I would feel about myself. I was in a long-term relationship for about three years. On July 4, 2006, I found out that she had been cheating on me since day one. We did everything together. It may sound silly but ever since that day I feel like I have not been the same person. It literally shook me to my core.

I am in my 30's. It's very difficult to find someone in my age bracket who doesn't have a ton of baggage. I've known The Disaster for a few years.  It's like she knew all the right things to say. She had cultivated our friendship over the past few years and I feel like she exploited my weaknesses. I really thought she was different for some reason. This whole thing has brought up some horrible memories for me. I just thought I had trust issues before. This takes them to a whole new level. I can sort of identify with living in the oblivious bubble. Sometimes I wish I could just go back inside the bubble. But looking back I knew something wasn't right all along I just never knew what it was.

I believe that you teach people how to treat you. That's why I never could stay with my ex. I always felt that if I made it okay I would be teaching her that it's okay to treat me that way, which it is not.
Looking back I can admit guys can be so dumb sometimes. Whenever a young cute girl says certain things to us it just boosts our self esteem so much it makes us want to do anything. I really feel exploited and used. It really bothers me that she seems to be able to go about her day doing this to people with absolutely no problem whatsoever. Or no consequences whatsoever. I don't mean this to sound rude, but I could do a lot better than her. It wasn't all physical attraction for me. I genuinely liked her. I have rambled on enough.

In the next post I will let you read her response. Part 2 coming soon.......


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