It just seems like I have been off track since that day. I know what you're thinking, because it's the same thing that I am thinking. That is a long time to be off-track. The Disaster was one of the people that I actually opened back up to. I think that's why this thing has hurt so much.
The mutual acquaintance said "I don't want to be alone in life." That is being really honest. I don't want to be alone in life either, at the same time, I would rather be alone then be together with someone and be miserable. I just refuse to do that. I refuse to settle. I will not settle just so I won't be alone.
Just for the record Littleone is still not married either after all this time. She got married right after we broke up but it didn't last long. The part I wrote about trying to find someone in my age bracket that doesn't have kids or ex-husbands is really true. My philosophy on that is I am not bringing any kids or ex-wives to the table so why can't I find someone that would do the same? I get accused of dating younger girls a lot. Which is true simply because they don't have ex-husbands or kids. Ultimately, I don't care how old they are, I just care about how much baggage they are toting around with them. Granted we all have baggage, I have my fair share. I just don't want ex-husbands and kids. Is that too much to ask?
One last thing. Anyone who knows me knows I really do love kids and they love me. When I dated Littleblonde, she had a beautiful daughter the Littlestblonde (that's what she asked me to call her). When we broke up I had to break up with two people. That's totally not fair. She only had to break up with one person. I had to break up with two. I miss her daughter way more than I miss her. Thanks to The Disaster for bringing up all these bad memories. Thank you for getting my hopes up and then putting them in a blender and pushing purée.
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