The comment I received from Gina the other day really stuck with me. I've heard that saying many times and I've had many friends tell me the same thing about this relationship. I think maybe one reason it stuck with me is because I don't know Gina. If I do know you Gina I'm sorry that I'm not remembering you right now. Back to what I was saying.
I don't know Gina and for someone to write that to me and be very concise and direct says something about her. Here's where I think her comment is far different from a lot of the other comments I get, she put her first and last name. I ask for comments all the time and I always say you can be anonymous if you want to, which is fine and I appreciate any and all comments. For some reason for someone to say something so direct and concise and then for her to leave her first and last name really had an impact on me. A good impact. Even if I don't agree with it, I really admire her for putting her name. To me if you have an opinion about something and you feel strongly enough about it, why not put your name? Anyway, thank you Gina for the comment.
Gina says in her comment “until you look at the relationship from an objective view you will continue to be insane” I could not agree with you more, however the problem with that is I believe it would be impossible for me to look at anything in this relationship objectively. Maybe I should say 100% objectively.
A little background -Dear came back and moved in with me I want to say in September. Dear feels as though she may have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and or some other personality disorders. I agree that something is not right simply because of the lack of empathy. I told her that she could come back here and live without contributing financially to our household until some things got taken care of and as long as some things were being done. Let me be more specific. I wanted her to engage in some type of treatment that we both felt was beneficial and participate in it regularly. I also made it very clear that I would like to be involved in that process. As most of you know most both my parents are alcoholics and I remember the first time my dad went for treatment, The treatment center said that alcoholism is a family disease. If you just take the alcoholic out of the situation and treat them and then send them home to the same situation they'll be drunk within a week. That makes complete sense to me. I explained that to dear and asked her how she felt. She said she agreed and she appreciated that I wanted to be apart of her recovery. I said I don't want you to just go off somewhere and then come back and then I might trigger you or I might not do all that I could do simply because I don't know what to do. I made it very clear that I wanted to know what to do, I wanted to know how I could help her and help us. She was thankful and agreed. Also I told her that we had to start building back trust. I have absolutely zero trust with her and she said she understands that and understands why. She said that she would clean the house once a week and would help out with the Wildeco side of things. Scanning in statements paying bills nothing that heavy. We thought that could be an excellent place to start building trust again. As some of you may remember from before she really lied to me about keeping up with the Wildeco Side of things and then dumped it on me can left. I explained to her that trust starts with little things. If I can't trust you to let's say clean the house once a week then I'm never going to trust you on the bigger things. She said she understood. I asked her to pick a day out of the week that she would like to clean the house, and also to set up a schedule of when she would be doing the Wildeco things and we would start from there. She picked a day of the week to clean the house but she never did set up a schedule to do the Wildeco things.
I found out about this counselor here in our town of San Angelo Texas named....Part 2 Soon