WOW! How People Change!

This is a group text that's going on between dear and her friends tonight.

  • Dear's friend's: What are yal doing?
  • Dear's friend's: At southern sky f***** up lol
  • Haha sweet! Meet yal there
  • Yay!!!!! We getting f***** up lol.
  • Yea!!!! Lmao

Now this part is for dear. I fully realize that you are an adult and I have absolutely no control over you. Unless you really fooled me for over three years this is simply not you. Dear I'm not stupid. These text that are coming from your new friends you didn't even know three weeks ago. Look how quickly the laws of association have kicked in. I know you would probably say to me I'm not doing that with them or something like that. The fact of the matter is you have been doing something with them because they included you in on the group text. So don't tell me or more importantly don't tell yourself that you're not involved in behavior that the dear. Also keep in mind these texts are coming from the same people better telling you to ignore me and have nothing to do with me.

If it matters to you at all I'm not proud of you at all. I know you are better then all of this. I also know that it is impossible for you to live around these type of people and not get involved in that type of behavior. Since you have not made any considerable effort to maintain a relationship with me then I have to believe this is the lifestyle you have chosen for yourself. Why? Because you don't think you're worth anything better. You never did open up and let me love you. Dear I do love you. Dear I think you are very special. It breaks my heart that you don't love me and think I'm special. You told me one time to watch your actions not just listen to your words. I think your actions are pretty obvious there at the southern sky. I'm going to let you in a little secret. The last time you came back I really did think that was the last time and you would be here for good. You had me convinced that you would do anything for us. You had me totally convinced that you would fight for us. I really did think that it would end up with a ring on your finger which scared the heck out of me.

The other day the Victoria's Secret special came on TV and I thought about you. What I thought was so cool is that you and I were building up our own traditions as a family. This would've been the third year in a row that we've would've watched it together. This would've been the third Thanksgiving we would've had together. This would be the third Christmas we had together. Little things like having Martinelli's at Christmas time. I even thought about us winding up the soaker hoses from the garden. I really thought you wanted us to be a family. It looks like you finally got your wish though. You Saying you weren't good enough, you were not lovable, not worthy, not special enough, not pretty enough, all of those negative things you kept telling yourself. You won, you have finally run me off. But rest assured none of the guys at those bars will care about what you think about yourself. They will only care about what they can get from you sexually and then they'll move onto the next girl. It's really sad to me but the fact remains that I can't want something for you more than you want for yourself.

There are a few more post scheduled to come out in the next few days. Other than that I'm going to focus on rebuilding my life. I know I'm not perfect but I also know that I have a lot to offer the right girl. I thought that was you, you're the one that made sure it wasn't.

Best of luck do you and happy holidays.