Where Did My Partner Go?

The simplest explanation is usually the correct one. ... You've probably heard it before: The simplest explanation is usually the right one. ... This line of reasoning is called Occam's razor. I heard this a few months ago and it really clicked with me. It really makes me think of Dear. I'm really not so sure why things have to be so complicated? In the beginning I would do anything I could think of to make her happy and she would do the same thing for me. What's so bad about that? We would do just all kinds of little fun things. Things that we still talk about today. We went to Dallas to see a concert and we had some extra time so dear ordered us room service. I heard her on the phone with them "That'll be it, oh I'm sorry one more thing, could we get a jug of water". And when they brought up our food they indeed brought up a "jug of water". I'm really a firm believer in what Wayne Dyer teaches. He says whatever you focus on expands. I'll never forget when I first heard him say that. I was going to a counselor once a week and as I thought about it it seemed like all we ever did was talk about problems. How could I better handle problems, how could I not take the problem so personal, on and on. I wanted to focus on what is true, I wanted to focus on love. 

I need someone that thinks outside of the box. I need someone that I can learn and grow with. I cannot tell you how deeply it hurts me when dear got her new counselor Neil Snipes and a month went by. I asked dear if I were to ask you to stop seeing Neil and you have to make a decision between Neil or me which one would you choose? She so easily said I would choose Neil. You would throw me away with the trash after we've been together over three years in lou of being with this guy you've known for one month? Something just didn't feel right? What I want more than anything else in the world is a girl just like dear that actually loves me and cares for me in the way that dear says she does. I want someone so desperately that would match up her actions and her words.

I love her so much and it's so hard to come to grips that she just doesn't love me that way. She knows exactly where I am and if she was interested she would be here in my arms. That's simply just not what she wants.  I wish she would let me love her. It's really not that difficult. But time is ticking. It's been three years. I've been ready for years to get our life started. Start building our life and our dreams together. I think unfortunately it's going to be time for me to move on. Not because I want to, because I have to. She is still in the same mess as when I met her. I mean the messes change a little bit. I can remember her telling me so crystal-clear, Johnny I will never sleep with another married man. And then she did it more times than she can count so she could feel powerful, in control, and pretty?

If she really loved me why in the world would she not be in my arms right now?  You only get one chance. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Are you going to look back and be proud of yourself for working at the dry cleaners? Life is about making memories, reading stories, and love. I was looking back over my photos for 2015. I don't have really any to share. It's 20 something days till Christmas. Dear I really think that you've been living to the label. You have this label on yourself that you aren't good enough or you are beautiful enough and then you live to that label. I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever known. I think you are super smart, sweet, very sexy, and a lot of fun. You've tried it your way how about trying it my way? What's the worst thing that could happen? Please don't keep pushing me away. I love you and I know we have something special together.

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