I Don't Want To Believe It's True

Okay let's have a little update. I wanted to start this post out by saying I can't believe dear has done it to me again. But as I thought about that that just sounds too silly to say. The correct thing to say would be I don't want to believe that dear has done it to me again. What do I mean by done it to me? When she came back this last time she swore to me that she would never ever leave me again under any circumstances. She said she loved me and that there was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. She was only here eight weeks and she sure didn't put up a fight to stay. She told me how important it was for us to share the holidays together. Thanksgiving came and has gone and nothing. Now I'm getting notices in the mail that she's changing her address from here, what she said was her home to a rental house in town. She's not even interested enough in me or her things to come out and talk with me. I threw all her stuff away so she could have a fresh start. She would always tell me how so many of her items reminded her of her past that she so wanted to forget. I must say there were a lot of items that made me think about the past in a negative way as well. She always said what she wanted more than anything was just a fresh start. I figured that's the least I could do for her, I just threw everything away and figure when she came back we could have a fresh start.

Wilde & Dear.JPG

I remember the days leading up to her leaving and the day that she actually left I asked her more than once are we breaking up? Are we still in a romantic relationship? She said absolutely. I said okay. I don't know about you but for me when I think about me not seeing her for over three weeks, and not hearing from her in over three weeks I think something is up. In less she has done something she isn't proud of I can't imagine what would keep her from contacting her boyfriend? I can't imagine what would keep her from contacting the person she said she wants to spend the rest of her life with? I do know that I cannot control her. I also know and I've learned the hard way that you cannot make somebody love you. I love her very much. I think she is very special and very beautiful. If any of you are in the San Angelo area you should stop by Holiday Cleaners and ask for Maria Ochoa or DEAR and tell her that you are a reader of the blog or a listener to the podcast. By the way I know that Holiday Cleaners has lots of locations,  I know she was working at the one on Knickerbocker at the front counter. I think there's actually one or two Holiday Cleaners on Knickerbocker but the one she usually works at is the one that's closest to Burger King. It's one of their bigger stores and I think there's a church or vet across the street. They also move her around quite a bit so don't be afraid to ask for her at any of the locations. It would make her day for someone to say hi.

I think that's all I've got to say for today. There are some more post that are scheduled to come out in the next few days and weeks. I do think for my own sanity that I've just got to move on. As much as I hate to say this, and I really do hate to say this, if she really did love me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me I wouldn't be writing this post right now. I would be spending time with her. I guess she is found someone else that makes her happier than me.