Day 4 - Dear Gone - Part 2

My two dogs Mattie and Pacey got very attached to her. Every little noise they here they think it's her coming home. That makes me feel quite sad. 

All of the other times she left I was very angry and mad. This time I am not angry nor am I mad. I'm just very sad and disappointed. I keep having this question go through my mind. Why was I only worth 10%? I remember telling her just a few short weeks ago, dear we both have fairly decent vehicles to drive, we're not living under the bridge we have a nice place to live, neither one of us have a mountain of debt, neither one of us have any children, neither one of us have any legal problems, we could basically start fresh and do anything we want to do. I've always told her from day one that I wanted her to be my partner. I always told her that I could see myself starting another business and I would want to do it with her. Why was I not good enough?

Johnny & Dear

There's another saying that people have been telling me that absolutely drives me crazy. They tell me just give it time. It'll get better with time. It works the exact opposite for me. See for me it's already been four days since I got to hold her and tell her that I love her. Before you know it it will be a month and then two. The more time that goes by the farther away I get from her.

The last thing I have to say for today is this. I have said many times that I really just wasn't man enough to end this relationship. After all I've never broken up with a girlfriend. We were both incredibly measurable, at least she stood up and decided to end this measurable mess and go away. Part of me commends her for taking that step. Another part of me is very sad that she wouldn't take the time, energy, and effort to at least try and work this out with me. I was always willing from day one to rebuild this. I told her that I loved her and I still love her. I want her to be happy and even though it pains me greatly to say this, I want her to be happy even if it's not with me.