Apple Pie Would Be Good About Now

I recently found out that Dear and my dad have been talking. I find that a bit interesting. He told me that she called wanting to know if she could buy the car that she used to drive when she was with me. She had already asked me that question several times and I told her no. I find it interesting, specifically that she calls my dad. It's not like there are not a million used cars all over the place. Also, he told me she has called him several other times about recipes and other oddities. But never just to say that she was sorry or never asked if he thought I would take her back or anything like that. Evidently she's got two jobs and she wants to go back to school. Sounds like she's moving on with her life quite effortlessly.

I am happy that she's happy. For real, I do want her to be happy in her life. I just feel so badly that I wasn't able to be the one to make her happy. I would be lying though if I didn't say I find it interesting that she can be so in love with me, according to her, for three years, wanting to spend the rest of her life with me, and just like that she's on to something new and more interesting. I was packing up a few things when I found a  few little notes that she had given me when I asked her to officially become my girlfriend.

#1 Today was a big day for Johnny and I. As of today I am Mr. Johnny's Wildes girlfriend!!! I am so very honored that he has asked me and I more than happily obliged. It feels so amazing knowing that I am his and he is mine. I've know it all along that we have something special something that not everyone has the chance to experience. I am the luckiest girl in the world hands down and I will continue to be.  Johnny got us the most amazing tickets to see Celine Dion and the show was to die for. She has such an amazing talent and I'm super grateful that I got to share that with Johnny. I love all the memories Johnny and I are creating together.

#2 - Just as it was given to me

Dear Mr. Johnny Wilde,

This is your newest and most obliged girlfriend. I can't tell you or express to you in words how honored I am to be your girlfriend. I'm leaning that my actions are the one thing that I have to show for myself. I have always thought that all we have is time but what I hadn't realize is that time has a price and it's an expensive one. I want our time together to be memorable and good for the both of us. Thank you so very very very very very much for taking to see Celine and to this show. I really do appreciate and I care about you so much. I know my heart and soul have never felt the way they do about you and I know I will love you forever. My heart will love you forever. You are everything and more to me. I want and need to prove to you that I am capable very capable. With my actions is how I will show you all the love I have for you. I am sorry for the horrible track record I have and I am sorry for any of the moments where you have not been happy. I love you so much and I never thought that I would be capable of loving someone as much as I love you. Thank you so much for caring and loving me the way you do. It means a lot. I am going to work acting on my feelings more so that you can feel what I feel. Baby you are my world. 

Could someone please tell me, how do you can go from what is written above to not caring about me at all? She's just moving right along with her new and improved the life. I guess I just have to accept that I wasn't good enough for her and I was unable to make her happy. It pains me greatly to say however the facts are the facts.

Thinking back to when this first started, I have to say she took very good care of me when I was ill and I very much appreciate it. Still to this day, I think she is so very beautiful, with beautiful hair and amazing skin and I loved the way she would look at me.