Sometimes I just wonder? Part 2

I just want it be over. I just want everything to be over. She has definitely changed me forever. I will never ever trust and open myself up again. Especially after she's been able to just move on with no problem. Of course if anyone asked her she would say it's been extremely hard on her as well. However she's been able to move right along with her life. Maybe I shouldn't say it but it's true. I'm right where I was when she left. I can't nor do I want to just move on. I loved her with by entire being. I don't want to disrespect or dishonor my love for her by just acting like nothing ever happened. She really had me convinced that she would never hurt me. She's very aware of how much pain and hurt I am going through. When we first broke up she actually stayed in communication with me. In fact she really surprised me by showing up one time at my house to check on me. I communicated with her how very difficult this was on me. Long story short she asked if we could stay in communication and I said of course. After finding out about a whole different set of lies I asked her to just leave me alone unless she could be honest. I haven't heard from her since. After all this time how could she lie to me again and then leave me all alone in this much pain?