My Fault - More Hurt

It's my fault that I never asked you what your favorite movie was. I'm sorry. Looking back most things were/are my fault. I'm sorry that I didn't inspire you enough.

For people that have no idea what I'm talking about, dear came back again. Two reasons she came back was to tell me -  Number one: for the past three years she's given me some beautiful cards and letters. She is an excellent writer. She's very good at expressing her feelings and emotions with the written word. She has given me more cards and letters than I could ever count expressing how much she loves and cares about me. She wanted me to know that she had not been honest in those cards and letters. She wanted to let me know that she did not love me near as much as she had led me to believe in those cards and letters. When she initially told me this I thought she meant she doesn't love me that much now. She quickly corrected me to let me know that I was wrong. She thought it was very important that I know that she didn't even feel that way when she wrote the cards and letters. Yes after four months of us being broken up she came back and told me that the amount of love she had expressed for me was indeed a lie at the time she wrote it and is a lie now. Number two: she wanted me to know that she never loved me as much as I loved her. I don't ever remember us discussing this over the past three years. Yet she said she felt it was important for her to be very honest with me and let me know that she never loved me as much as I loved her, not even close.

Thanks Dear for being brutally honest. I've always said that your real friends will tell you things that you might not even want to know. Thank you so much. Now I will never lay in my bed and think about you and think that you loved me more than you actually did. Now I know the truth. Just for the record I always suspected that you didn't love me. But it took a lot to come back after four months and confirm that for me. What is so hard on me is to love someone and have them not love you back. Also to see qualities in someone and them not see it in themselves. To believe in someone for three years and them still not believe in themselves.

She never loved or cared for me at all. It was all fun and games to her. She in fact told me when she came back that she indeed had done some things deliberately to hurt me. Dear it worked. I'm more hurt than I can express. I'm so sorry for whatever I did to cause you to hate me so much. I really am sorry.