Tonight is the season premier of Scream Queens. It's a show that Dear and I were really looking forward to watching. I guess my mother was right all along. I am just evil and not worth the trouble. Out of all people your mother should know you better than anyone. It's so painfully obvious that dear would do anything and everything for other guys but not for me. She never loved me much less cared for me. I said to her that I thought she deserved someone that she could agree with. She didn't agree with me on anything. She said OK and packed up her stuff and never looked back. Also she would tell me each time that she came back that if she had it to do over she would not have left so easily and she would've worked a lot harder to get me back. Those are her words but her actions do not match up. She's left me three times in the last month. None of those times as she initiated or worked on getting me back. I think she was even in town today and do you think she stopped by to see if we could talk? No. She would always tell me the same story. She never tried to get me back because she thought she wasn't good enough for me. Then why does she think she's good enough for all of these other guys? Literally she's been with three guys in the last 30 days or so. One of them was even married. She obviously is confident enough and thinks she's good enough to mess with another woman's marriage? These are just the guys that she told me about who knows what the real number is this? None of these guys even took her out on a date first? She's obviously very confident but once again not confident enough for me. She told me that one of the guys told her how he wanted her to dress. Keep in mind this wasn't for a date this was the way he wanted her to dress for her coming over to his house for the first time. She dressed just exactly the way he wanted her to. Once again I'm not good enough. It would just make sense that if she loved me and cared for me as much as she said she did I would not even be writing this post. She would be laying here in my arms. I miss her and I wish she was here. I feel so sad that she doesn't feel the same. Sometimes I just wish I could make her want me.