Disbelief, Sad, Dear

Here lately I have been thinking about all of the fun things that Dear and I did when we were together. Then I have to remind myself that I tend to remember only the good things and not the badwhich only leads to trouble. 

Out of all of my serious relationships, the one with The M-Word ended the best way I think. No relationship ends good, but if someone were to ask me why The M-Word and I did not work out I would say just because we didn't workout. Maybe she was too young, maybe it was timing, maybe it was a lot I things. But one thing it wasn't, she wasn't evil to me. I don't believe that The M-Word was two different people like Dear, one way with me and one way with everyone else. I really believe that it was just timing. I also believe if you asked her she would not say she hates me and I certainly don't hate her. I look back on the time I had with her withfondness, And I remember the time I spent with her as good.

I think one of the reasons that it's taking me so long to get over Dear is because I was told and believed so many things that ended up not being near the truth. I have all of these memories of us doing all of these fun things together then to only find out that she really had a second life during that time. Let me be more specific. On November 22, 2013, I took Dear to Dallas and we stayed at the new Omni Hotel downtown. The one that is in the opening scene of the new Dallas TV show.  It was the 50th anniversary of the JFK assassination. Both of us were too young to remember it yet both of us were interested in that part of history. We went down to the grassy knoll, we went to the Texas School Book Repository which is now a museum, and all around the area of where JFK was shot. For some reason, I just remember this trip very well because we had a really good time. I remember thinking that it was really cool that we were both interested in the same thing.

I also remember this trip for a second distinctive reason. I couldn't sleep very well, andremember laying there next to her just looking at her and thinking about how beautiful she was. I remember feeling so fortunate that she was with me. I also remember being in somedisbelief that this beautiful girl was with me. Maria Ochoa from San Angelo, Texas was absolutely stunning. Yes, she was absolutely stunning just laying there sleeping. I remember this so well just as if it were yesterday. I remember laying there and thinking that I wanted to do everything I could to make her happy. I have no idea if she will read this but if she does she will remember this night as well because I woke her up and told her how beautiful I thought she was.

I'm not sure why but here lately I really miss her. Or I really miss....

Part 2 SOON