The conclusion I've come to is that she does what she wants to do. There is no kind of mental disorder that makes somebody sleep with random men. If some counselor has told her that then that counselor is full of crap. There comes a point in time in which you have to hold yourself personally responsible for your behavior.
It just makes me sad still to this day that ultimately she did not choose me. I always told her it's not the mistakes you make it's what you do about the those mistakes. As people know I had forgiven her many many times but she just started taking advantage of that. That makes me sad as well. It makes me very sad that it seems that she is not the kind, caring, generous, giving, compassionate, beautiful, thoughtful person she presented herself to be. I really thought she was different.
During times of being broken up and apart she would always give me these reasons why she would not contact me. They were always strange weird reasons I thought. Like she was doing me some sort of favor. How do you intertwine yourself in someone's life and then just disappear? The only answer I can come up with is that it must take someone without a conscience at all. For almost 3 years we did everything together and now she's just gone? I wish I was just half as good at getting over her as she is at getting over me.
I know why she hasn't contacted me, it's because nothing has changed. If she had turned things around I would be the first person she would want to tell. Unfortunately her silence speaks volumes.