One more gone

Ok assistant number two just left for the day. Actually she left forever. So I'm doing pretty good on trimming the staff down. I'm down to one super part time girl. Never know I might be closing this office down as well moving back to the house for retirement. And in case any of you are wondering yes this is a strategic plan to start closing things down. As far as assistant number one and assistant number two it's fun to see them kind of go and full of energy and looking forward to building their life. I hope they are super successful and happy.
I have now realized I'm down to one assistant that's going to work four hours a week. The only real reason I even went to the office was just to be around some people. I am highly considering closing the office January 1 and moving back to the house

One Slight Correction

Went back to the hospital today to see my mother. And as most of you know I do not like hospitals at all. She does not appear to be doing all that well. Strangely enough though she asked about The M Word and I think would like to see her. I will say that I wished I had the same kind of relationship with my other ex's as I do with her. Ever since we broke up if I'd ever needed anything she has always been there for me. And any time she needs anything or just needs to talk she always calls me. It's very nice to have at least someone like that.
So I guess I will make one slight correction she did tell me she would always be there for me and so far she has and it's been probably 15 years. Let's see if any of the other ex's honor their word of always being there for me. I know this for sure if any of them called me and needed anything at all I would be there for them because I gave them that commitment.(The Definition Of Commitment Is Doing The Thing You Said You Would Do Long After The Feeling You Said It In Has Left You) I will say being an only child does feel sort of awkward to know that when my parents are gone I am truly alone.

JR Ewing Part-2 (Editor Free)

Things were looking very good until today she has taken a sudden turn for the worst.
Have you ever done something but you don't realize that you have done it or doing it? I don't have anyone else to blame but myself. But over the last few years I have successfully isolated myself.  I was not aware of what I was doing at the time, but it was definitely me and no one else's fault but my own. I used to have one particular aunt and uncle I was close to and now it's like I don't even know them. I have an adopted family that I was extremely close to for many years and they no longer know who I am nor do I know who they are. I will emphasize once again, I will take 100% of the blame. As I was dating a certain someone this year I remember talking to them and they couldn't understand why at times I felt so alone. But as we discussed it she did come to understand how alone I truly am.  I guess that's why it felt so good to be a part of something temporarily. But don't worry I isolated myself from that as well.  Dr. Phil always says “you can't change what you don't acknowledge” I believe this to be true. So if I go back and try to isolate the timeframe that all this started happening it would have to be July 4, 2005. That is literally the day my entire world, and perception of people changed. That would be the day that I found out about all of littleone's indiscretions.  And once again it takes two to run a relationship off into the ditch.  So I'll take my part of the blame for that as well.  I will also say ever since then any and all females that I let into my life have been complete liars. I don't know if they only lie to me or they were also lying to themselves or combination of both. I do know I am so sick and tired of hearing “I'll love you forever and I'll never leave” to only find them gone the next day. You know part of me thinks if I talked to littleone and received some sort of closure thinks might be better. But I'm sure that's not going to happen. And as for the other ones they are way too selfish to allow that to happen.
So to sum it up I will take full responsibility and 100% of the blame for where I am in my life right now. I will not blame my past, I will not blame my parents, I will not blame any ex-girlfriend's, I blame no one but myself. It's not what happens to you it's what you do about it that counts. And I totally suck at that.

JR Ewing Part-1 (Editor Free)

For any of you that used to watch the TV show Dallas JR Ewing had a phrase that he would use quite often. He would say “if you're not going to kick a man when he's down when else are you going to kick him” WOW that has sure been true for 2010 for me. So I know what a lot of you are thinking, here comes another negative, self-pity post. Well guess what your right you win $1 million.  I may do a whole rundown of the year but here are the Cliff Notes. The year started off with one of my employees setting me up with what she thought was a great match for me. Well we all know that didn't work out so great. Then I totaled out black beauty. Then we had the famous counseling sessions with my mother, which she felt the need to tell me that she wished she would've aborted me. And then you have the famous lead assistant, the only girl that I really trusted and is done what she would do move off to another town. Now we have assistant number two moving off to another town. And for those of you who don't know my mother had a heart attack about a week ago. Things were looking very good until.......